Rebranding–it’s not just for business anymore!

(Hi again! I’m excited to have a new website and a renewed dedication to writing an occasional blog! Please check out my website if you are interested and heads up that you can visit my Virtual “Office” right from the site.) The concept of “rebranding” in marketing and business is well-known. The definition I find online is to: “change the …

Returning…to Basics

Hello! It’s been so long since I’ve written. It’s been weighing on me that my last post is over a year old. But, as I’m sure you can relate, we’ve all been through a lot! I’m not going to start off with a long post, though I CAN say I have one coming about Ted Lasso that you should read. …

When You’re Your Own Bully

Do you feel and believe that you are good enough? If I had to pick one issue I see the most in my practice, it’s self-criticalness. As opposed to narcissism where a person is defended against seeing any faults in themself, self-criticalness is like fault-finding on steroids. So let’s break it down a little bit. What’s your measure of good …

Being Good Enough When Life is Hard

My friends at Birth Roots, the local birth and parenting resource center, recently posted this quote from Beth Berry on their instagram: The fact that you’re struggling to enjoy motherhood has less to do with you than it does the inadequate support structures in the culture surrounding you. This is an important quote that applies not only to motherhood–but to …

Bulls$#t Alert: “Don’t Ask Them to Change”

I often write about myths our culture perpetuates in relationships and this blog’s title sums up one I’ve been thinking about recently: We’ve all heard people say something to the effect of: “You should never try to change someone…you should love them for who they are.” I recognize that my argument is partly a matter of semantics. I get it—there’s …

Beware Your Brain!

How often do you update your operating system? Probably about as often as you have a chance. Fix the bugs and all that… Wouldn’t it be nice if we could get an updated version of the gray matter between your ears? I mean, as it is, it’s pretty fabulous in SO many ways, but the biggest “bug” I see is …

The “Give-Yourself-A-Pause” Phrase

I work with lots of folks on how to take good care of themselves…how to listen to their own needs and set boundaries that work for them. One challenge that comes up a lot is that, in social situations, conversation can move so quickly that it becomes really hard to be able to: Pause. Sense your reaction to the request …

What You’ll Never Fix About Your Marriage (and Why You Don’t Have to)

(This post was first published at the Huffington Post) I planned to tell my now-husband that it wasn’t going to work out on our third date. He was very sweet, respectful and handsome but my internal voice suggested we weren’t compatible enough. He was in sales; I was studying to be a therapist. We had different views on religion. With …

Two Essentials for Healing and Happiness

In the unavoidable struggles and wounding that life presents all of us, it would be nice if there was a simple equation for successful healing. “Do X and you will achieve Y.” I so wish it could be that straightforward and predictable. Because the truth is, healing is a mystery. We are all beautiful and unpredictable recipes. 1 cup of …

Comparison Is a F*%cker

Just met with a client who’s felt all too well the ways that comparison–as Mark Twain so aptly said and I so aptly butchered in the title of this post–is the thief of joy. Her kid is sick and everyone around her seems so shiny and happy and perfect. They seem better, somehow, or more right. They’re doing something she’s …